10 strategies for getting the rest you need.
I used to think that sleep was one of the pillars of health – but I now believe that it is THE foundation of health. That said, so many of us move through life with less than an ideal amount of sleep. I sure did. In fact, before I learned of the importance of sleep, I used to feel lazy when I slept for more than 6 hours a day. In school and at work, I often met high achievers who spoke of needing no more than 4-5 hours of sleep per night and being able to function at their peak performance. I always envied those people. I thought that if I just had those “don’t need a lot of sleep” genes, I would accomplish so much more in life. So I tried to be like them – and in many ways I felt I had to in order to keep up, compete, and achieve. For decades, I compensated for my lack of sleep with caffeine and sugar and suffered the consequent highs and lows both physically and emotionally.
And then came motherhood. I had no choice but to function on lack of sleep. For days, weeks, months, and eventually years, being tired and exhausted just felt like…well, what I thought I was supposed to feel like as a mom. Be it having a newborn, staying up thinking of whatever stressor of the day, or going through the daily mental checklist of things I had to do, not sleeping well felt like it came with the territory. I became so out of touch with what it felt like to be well rested. There were many nights when I would pass out from sheer exhaustion and wake up 8-10 hours later – but that never made up for the years of lack of sleep and exhaustion I put my body through.
When I turned 40, I finally accepted that I will never have those lucky sleep genes and that lack of sleep for me meant not showing up as my best self in all aspects of my life. So I went on a mission to get better sleep – both in quality and length. Over the course of a year, I immersed myself on the subject of sleep – reading books, listening to podcasts, consuming any and all information I could to convince myself that getting good sleep would help me turn my life around. I learned that sleep not only helps your body to heal and repair itself, but it also strengthens your immune system, improves brain function, helps regulate emotion and stress, restores energy levels, regulates hormones metabolism, and promotes longevity. Without sleep, you simply cannot function at your best.
So one by one, I tackled the following strategies that helped me to go from averaging a sleep score of 60 to 90 (out of 100) on the Oura ring (something I highly recommend you get for yourself if data helps you modify behavior). With patience and commitment, I finally reached that state of feeling – yes – well rested. I was able to measure this not only by a number on my sleep measuring device but also by the frequency at which I yelled at the kids, the amount of coffee or chocolates I needed during the day, my ability to pause before reacting, and having the energy and motivation to start tackling other aspects of my health. I hope these strategies for better sleep will help you strengthen the foundation for your wellness journey:
Stick to a consistent sleep schedule. Your body has a natural sleep-wake cycle, also known as the circadian rhythm. Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, even on weekends, can help you regulate this cycle. For me, this means sleeping 10pm-6am to get the 8 hours of sleep that I need each night.
Get active during the day. Regular physical activity can help you fall asleep faster and enjoy deeper sleep. However, try to complete your workout at least a few hours before bed, as exercising too close to bedtime can have the opposite effect.
Limit naps. While naps can be a great way to recharge, they can also interfere with nighttime sleep if taken too late in the day or for too long. If you need to nap, aim for 20-30 minutes, preferably in the early afternoon.
Put the phone down. Scrolling on my phone literally up until the second I shut my eyes and rolling over to charge my phone right by my head on the nightstand was a nightly ritual. I knew that blue light was bad. I even tried wearing blue light glasses at night to see if that would help. It didn’t and it won’t. Being on your phone will fire up your brain, causing it to be at work well after you put the phone down. I had to set a calendar reminder at 9pm each night to put my phone away (charging outside the bedroom) so that I could have at least an hour of no screen time before quieting my mind for bed.
Digest to rest. Avoid large meals close to bedtime. I give my body at least 3 hours to digest before I go to bed.
Cut down/out the caffeine. Caffeine has an average half-life of 6-8 hours so try to cut yourself off from caffeine by early afternoon. Some people, like me, are slow metabolizers of caffeine meaning that it stays in your system longer. If I have caffeine past noon, I definitely notice the impact on my sleep. Reducing and then eliminating caffeine was a gradual process for me that lasted over the course of two years. I went from drinking 3 cups of coffee a day to 2 then 1 and then switching to half caffeine then matcha then cacao then decaf. Caffeine was the one thing that I didn’t think I could eliminate, but I did - and I would never go back to consuming the amount I once did. You certainly don’t need to eliminate caffeine from your life in order to get good sleep, but don’t consume too much and too close to bedtime.
Breathe. It takes 90 seconds to shift your physical state from stressed to relaxed through your breath. Stress is a common culprit behind poor sleep. Finding ways to manage stress during the day with breathing exercises and meditation can help you unwind at night. I like to do several rounds of the 4-7-8 breath while lying in bed (where you breath in through the nose for four counts, hold the breath for seven counts, and breathe out through the mouth for eight counts).
Keep it cool and comfy. A temperature between 60-67 degrees Fahrenheit is ideal for most people. Invest in in quality mattress, pillows, sheets, and blanket to keep you comfortable and help you manage your body temperature as you sleep (I am a huge believer in breathable, organic cotton sheets).
Eliminate noise and light. Use ear plugs, blackout curtains, or a white noise machine to create a quiet, dark environment. I never had blackout shades but when I finally got them, it was a game changer – something I never knew I needed but totally did. Don’t underestimate the impact of noise and light on your quality of sleep.
Know when to seek help. If you’ve tried these tips and still struggle with sleep, it might be time to consult a healthcare professional. Conditions such as sleep apnea, insomnia, or restless legs syndrome can seriously impact your sleep and may require specialized treatment.
In summary, better sleep is within reach. By making small adjustments, being patient, and tackling one new strategy at a time, you will be able to adopt lasting behavioral change to shift your body from a state of exhaustion to rest. Remember – sleep is not a luxury – it is the foundation for your wellbeing.
